Headphone Harold By Shel Silverstein Pg. 161

Headphone Harold wore his headphones
Through the night and through the day.
He said, “I‘d rather hear my music
Than the dumb things people say.”

In the city’s honkin’ traffic,
He heard trumpets ‘stead of trucks.
Down the quiet country back roads
He heard drums instead of ducks.

Through the patterin’ springtime showers
He heard guitars instead of rain.
Down the track at the railroad crossin’
He heard the trombones--not the train.

Body Language By Shel Silverstein Pg. 160

Said my feet, “Hey, let’s go dancin‘.”
Said my tongue, “Let’s have a snack.”
Said my brain, “Let’s read a good book.”
Said my eyes, “Let‘s take a nap.”
Said my legs, “Let‘s” just go walkin’.”
Said my back, “Let‘s take a ride.”
Said my seat, “Well, I‘ll just sit right here,
‘Til all of you decide.”

When I Was Your Age By Shel Silverstein Pg. 159

My uncle said, “How do you get to school?”
I said, “By bus,” and my uncle smiled.
“When I was your age,” my uncle said,
“I walked it barefoot--seven miles.”

My uncle said, “How much weight can you tote?”
I said, “One bag of grain.” my uncle laughed.
“When I was your age,” my uncle said,
“I could drive a wagon--and lift a calf.”

My uncle said, “How many fights have you had?”
I said, “Two--and both times I got whipped.”
“When I was your age,” my uncle said,
“I fought every day--and was never licked.”

My uncle said, “How old are you?”
I said, “Nine and a half,” and then
My uncle puffed out his chest and said,
“When I was your age… I was ten.”

The Smile Makers By Shel Silverstein Pg. 158

THE SMILE MAKERS

The grungy, grumpy, grouchy Giant
Grew tired of his frowny pout
And hired me and Lee to lift
The corners of his crumblin’ mouth.
That was last year--and we’ve been here
Sweatin’, strainin’ all the while.
Sometimes it sure can be hard work
To make somebody smile.

Molly's Folly By Shel Silverstein Pg. 157

Jolly Molly
Went to Bail,
Bought a skateboard,
Tried an Ollie.
Lost her hat,
Dropped her dolly,
Landed splat
Right on her collie.
Collie yelled,
“You’re off your trolley!”
He bit Molly on her lolly--
That’s why Molly
Isn’t jolly,
By golly!

Somethin' New By Shel Silverstein Pg. 156

SOMETHIN’ NEW

They say, “Come up with somethin’ new
And everyone will buy it.”
So I came up with a paper umbrella,
But no one was willing to try it.

And then I came up with reusable gum.
It seemed such a pity to waste it.
Then I came up with some mustard ice cream.
Nobody bothered to taste it.

So now I’ve invented a plug-bottom boat.
It’s just what you need, there’s no doubt,
‘Cause if any water should ever splash in,
Just pull the plug--it’ll all run out.

A Use For A Moose By Shel Silverstein Pg. 155

The antlers of a standing moose,
As everybody knows,
Are just the perfect place to hang
Your wet and drippy clothes.
It’s quick and cheap, but I must say
I’ve lost a lot of clothes that way.