No I do not want a kitten,
No cute, cuddly kitty-poo,
No more long hair in my cornflakes,
No more midnight meowing mews.
No more scratchin’, snarlin, spitters,
No more sofas clawed to shreds,
No more smell of kitty litter,
No more mousies in my bed.
No I will not take that kitten– –
I’ve had lice and I’ve had fleas,
I’ve been scratched and sprayed and bitten,
I’ve developed allergies.
If you’ve got an ape, I’ll take him,
If you have a lion, that’s fine,
If you brought some walking bacon,
Leave him here, I’ll treat him kind.
I have room for mice and gerbils,
I have beds for boars and bats,
But please, please take away that kitten– –
quick– – ’fore it because a cat.
Well … it is kind of cute at that.